Roanoke Regional Writers Conference 2010
									Keynote speech.
									
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									A Summer Mantra
									When I was little, the nighttime drone of our window fan propelled me out
									of the heat and into my dreams.
									
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									Alone At Last
									Just me and my husband, for the first time in years. Let the witty banter
									begin.
									
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									Bed Bath and Broke
									A massive conspiracy: Bed Bath & Beyond and colleges.
									
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									The Best and the Brightest
									Defending my-son-the-geek, or, God help you if you're not an athlete and you're a student in a public high school.
									
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									Big Brother Discount
									Big Brother may know my medical history and my driving record, but dammit, he doesn't get my grocery list.
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									Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?
									People are buying Burberry trenchcoats for their dogs, and I can't afford a cup of coffee.
									
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									The China Syndrome
									My son is getting married: how can we trust him with china when he broke every toy he ever got?
									
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									Confessions of a Video Trollop
									We are the last middle-class family in America that doesn't have cable TV.
									
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									Controlled Substance
									Possession of oregano with intent to distribute.  I'm guilty.
									
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									Festival of the Book 1999
									A hungry writer masters the art of the power schmooze in Charlottesville.
									
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									Finishing School
									After a year in Paris I have to go home.  Or do I?
									
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									Fox Fever
									How did "fox"get to be a classy name for a neighborhood?
									
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									Gods 'n' Generals
									Suffice it to say that there was a whole lot of shooting going on and Stonewall Jackson dies in the end.
									
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									Heart, Beat
									The night my heart stopped.
									
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									High-Class Anxiety
									My daughter can go to any college she wants, as long as it's Virginia
									Tech.
									
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									Inside, Over Here
									Is it a boy, or a girl? Ultrasound whispers the answer -- and then some.
									
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									Intelligent Life
									A life-long radio fan extends the search for intelligent life out into the universe:
									"SETI-at-Home" and I search for ET using my trusty iMac.
									
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									Journey To The East
									Confessions of a middle-aged fan of the Dave Matthews Band.
									
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									Lights Out, Everybody
									Curfews: An early-bird conspiracy.
									
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									No-Guilt Ice Cream
									A free pint of ice cream or $100?  Decisions, decisions.
									
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									Movie Marathon
									The Virginia Film Festival: How many movies can I cram into four days?
									
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									Musical Monkey on my Back
									When does pleasure lead to obsession?  When my husband says it does.
									
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									My Hiding Place
									I've always found it hard to take a break from the world.  But then I found opera.
									
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									NaNoWriMo
									I have just one month to come up with a 50,000-word novel. It doesn't
									have to be good enough, it just has to be long enough.
									
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									A Night At The Opera
									My first opera, La Bohème.  A whole new world.
									
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									The Perfect Soapdish
									Okay, so I can't stop terrorists from knocking down skyscrapers and
									distributing Anthrax like evil fairy dust - but I WILL control my own
									bathroom.
									
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									Pond Scum
									My son's getting married -- I'd better clean up the house before the relatives arrive.
									Do I have to clean the scum off the pond, too?
									
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									Pre-Election Stress Disorder
									My husband is saying, "Put down the mouse - step away from the
									computer!" but there's just one more analysis about polling results I want to
									check on...okay, and maybe one more after that...and did you hear about the NASA
									imaging expert who says Bush really was wearing a wire?
									
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									Preparing for Bird Flu...
									...when our new national motto appears to be "Every Man for Himself"
									
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									Quack
									Political candidates are braying about "family values." Somebody make them stop!
									
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									Radio Redemption
									How the NPR broadcast of Nine Lessons and Carols saves me from myself every Christmas Eve.
									
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									A Revolting Development
									Take a hike, developers! You're ruining the countryside.
									
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									Should I Take A Bow?
									My kids are leaving home, just when I'm starting to get the hang of this motherhood thing.
									
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									Silent Meeting
									My first time at a Quaker meeting. No preacher - nothing but silence. Yikes.
									
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									Silent Rebellion
									Just because we're Catholic doesn't mean we buy the whole package.
									
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									Stars and Stripes...Forever
									If I burn my American flag, will I go to Hell?
									
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									Taste Matters
									Why do all American-made éclairs suck?
									
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									Tandem Graduation
									I should be happy: My youngest just graduated from high school. What's wrong with me?
									
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									Thanksgiving: 1973
									An American in Paris translates Thanksgiving from turkey to communal M&Ms.
									
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									Thy Neighbor's Goods
									They have more money and better taste than I do.
									
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									Turn Off The Lights
									Light pollution in my own backyard.
									
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									Variations on a Theme
									Who put the birdseed in the chocolate chip cookies?
									
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									The View From In Here
									Attention Deficit Disorder is a whole other world.
									
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									A Virtual Undertaking
									Restoring old family photos on my computer has become an obsession.
									
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									The Waltons Go To South Park
									Psst! I like South Park and watch it with my kids.  Don't tell anybody.
									
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									We Got It
									Yeah, yeah, the YEAR 2000.  Just call it 2000, we'll understand.
									
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									What Heartbreak Feels Like
									Yikes. It's enough to make a Big Bird cry.
									
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									What Would Jesus Do?
									Jesus would let the air out of his tires.
									
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									A Yankee Fantasy
									I love the mountains of Virginia, but long to inhale the salt air of New England's rocky coast.
									
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